Shit Happens from the Legal Perspective

Shit Happens from the Legal Perspective
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French law: Shit happens

Common law: This Shit has happened before.

Dutch law: Shit won't happen if you are fair and reasonable

Russian law: Pay me and Shit won't happen.

International law: Shit flies in all directions.

European law: With regard to art. 94 of the Treaty, in view of the Commission's proposal, and the opinion of the European Parliament, considering that it is necessary to harmonise the laws of Member States relating to Shit happening for the establishment and proper functioning of the internal market, the Council adopts the following directive:
Art.1 Shit shall happen in all Member States.
Art.2 This directive does not apply to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

German law: a) Es enspricht hцchstrichtlicher Rechtsprechung und herrschender Lehre, daЯ Shit bei Verletzung gesetzlichen Pflichte unbedingt und unverzьglich happens.
b) Shit kann mittelbar oder unmittelbar happenen

Property law: a) Whose Shit is this?
b) It's my Shit!
c) My Shit is real, and your Shit is relative.

Tort law: Who gets the Shit?

Company law: When Shit happens, at least it's limited.

Civil Procedure: Listen well to the other party's Shit.

Thomas Hobbes: Shit happeneth.

Roman law: No one may give another more Shit then he himself has.

Hoge Raad: Gelet op de cassatiemiddelen en de opinie van de Procureur Generaal tough Shit.

Human Rights Law: a) Shit is universal and inalienable.
b) Every person has a right to equal share of equal shit.

European Court of Justice: The objectives of the Treaty would be severely undermined and rendered meaningless if Member States could determine at will what Shit would or would not
happen and when.

Comparative law: Same Shit, different package.

Private international law: Shit doesn't happen. It applies.

Nationality Law: If Shit happened, you should have been born in Australia from Irish parents in 1916.

International Humanitarian Law: If Shit happens, it must be clean Shit.

Migration Law: If Shit happened, keep it at home.

Criminal law: a) When Shit happens, you must first prove it.
b) Shit does not happen backwards.

Criminal procedure: Admit to this Shit!

European Court of Human Rights: Shit may only happen within the margin of appreciation if it is necessary in democratic society.

Contract law: The Shittor has offered and the Shittee accepted that Shit would happen for good consideration.

Contract practice: But we agreed that Shit wouldn't happen!

Tax law = Russian law

Social security law: Shit will never happen to me!

Socialist law: Share the Shit!

European Law School: Tell us how shit happens in France, Germany and England and do you think that it should all be harmonised.

Law Student's textbook: Shit happens objectively from the point of view of banal eruditions, but from the point of view of paradoxical dotations Shit might not happen if narrowly interpreted. This dichotomy has led to much debate in literature about the possibility and feasibility of Shit happening, but the casuistic, functional approach teaches us, however, that every individual has a
right to his own Shit.

Law student: Who made up this shit?